She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
