hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Screwed.edu
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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