somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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