Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
