she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
