The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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