that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
