What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
