ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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