Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize