Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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