Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You can't special order awesome
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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