Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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