so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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