im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
