dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
