I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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