no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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