isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just want to make out with him forever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
