I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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