I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
pop tarts are not kleenex
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
