I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
