i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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