I CAN MOONWALK!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
