i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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