If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
