im about as happy as oj after his trial
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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