Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
