Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
