Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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