Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
