I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
