We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
