I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize