If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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