I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
