I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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