If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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