Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
