I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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