I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
