I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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