I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I love you.
Bad choice
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
