so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
