i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just had sex on a roof
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
