My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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