but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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