We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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