did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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