You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
