I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize