i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
