I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
