I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
