drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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