Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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