my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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