you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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