break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
