I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
