i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
