Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is Oprah even human
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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