Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
