you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
