This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
